126529

Joke of the Day

"What did Tennesee?? What Arkansas.."

"ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before. INSTRUCTOR: don't lick my lips again."

"I wrote a theatrical performance based on puns... It was a play on words."

"GALS: Ask ANY guy, if you don't know all the sex tips from the latest Cosmo, we are NOT interested."

"I was told I look like a nazi soldier... And I said, ""no, this is a Wehrmacht uniform""."

"According to the stores .I should be in a Halloween costume, sitting under a Christmas tree eating turkey . I'm so confused."

"It's so rough where I live ... We don't have Jehova's witnesses, we have Jehova's bystanders (who are like ""We didn't see nothing"")"

"Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and scream."

"Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once."

"Why don't witches have babies? Because their men have hollow-weenies!"