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Joke of the Day

"President Obama states he stands with Hillary. ""So do I."" Bill states sadly under his breath."

"I hear you knocking at my door. You thinking I'm going to answer it is your second mistake."

"Someone posted an ad claiming she can wax my chest without any pain at all. Sounds nice, but I'm kind of nervous. Do you really think she could pull it off?"

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off"

"How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope."

"Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman."

"Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside"

"BLOND DOG Q: Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head? A: He's been chasing parked cars."

"I Knew a One-Legged Girl I knew a one-legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops"

"I'm stuck in Christmas mass right now and I need some nsfw religious jokes about Christianity in order to make my dad crack. Have any? Help me, I got dragged to this as vice and now we need jokes."