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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head!"

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning."

"(My favourite joke when I was a kid) Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"How to get a job... Interviewer: ""What's your biggest weakness?"" Interviewee: ""I never learn from my mistakes"" Interviewer: ""Oh, why's that?"" Interviewee: ""I never make any"""

"If I were to redesign the alphabet I would place D as the 8th letter. ... just so that 8 == D."

"Little known fact: Henry Ford called it an automobile because ""Horse with no Name"" sounded stupid."

"Love means never being able to like another girl's selfie on Instagram ever again."

"A boy asks his mom: ""Why is my skin so much darker than yours and Dad's?"" ... she says: ""That was a pretty wild orgy, be glad you don't bark"""

"How does Anakin Skywalker get around the Death Star? He takes the elevader. *Sith floor, please.*"

"The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently."