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Joke of the Day

"""We're not so different, you and I,"" Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper."

"What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"

"What's the difference between an Iraqi middle school and a terrorist training camp? Fuck if I know, I just fly the drone."

"What do you call a run-down and Italian neighborhood? The Sphaghetto"

"Damn girl, you give people cancer. Because you're shining like the sun."

"If a cop tazed me and then yelled ""Raiden Wins!""... I would instantly lose all animosity towards him."

"How can you tell if your goose is depressed? It's feeling down."

"I can always tell by their eyes if someone is a primary school teacher They have small pupils....."

"I am married to 4 different women And it's bigamy to admit it."

"Why do baked goods always have an urge for sex? Because they're in heat."