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Joke of the Day

"If I ever get a dog, I'll name her Robbery When I get to store, I'll tell ""Get down, Robbery"". Dog lies and the whole store too."

"What did one orphan say to the other orphan? ""ROBIN, GET IN THE BATMOBILE!"""

"What's the difference between a Muslim woman and an American one? An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery."

"Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh."

"How much longer until we can get pets that are also wifi hotspots?"

"Why did Helen Keller scream? Her parents left the plunger in the toilet."

"DM:You're so hot, wanna Skype? Me: it is quite hot, and a skype sounds delicious. Is that vodka? DM: ME:hello...you there"

"if you have a favorite tetris block that isn't the 4x1 long piece, you're a fucking contrarian idiot asshole and i hate you"

"My dream job is to be a mirror cleaner I think I could really see myself doing that. \\_()_/ "

"My uncle performed circumcisions... He kept all the foreskin and had a tailor make it into a wallet. Rub it for 5 minutes and you get a briefcase."