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Joke of the Day

"I received a text message from an unknown number ""I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I met someone else. Please don't call me anymore!"" ... Even other people's girlfriends are dumping me now"

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"Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave."
"What is ISIL's favourite dessert? Terrormisu"
"My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery."
"Why did the gay man sue the mental hospital? They held him in a straightjacket."
"Entering Area 51 US soldier: - Sir, this is secret teritory and you don't have permission to... - me - Where the fuck are you running, Pikachu?!"
"That grizzly killed the man with its bear hands"
"Deep down... ...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me."
"Q: Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? A: He found a leek there."
"Hear about that 70s date rape band? Cosby Pills Smash and Run"