126063

Joke of the Day

"Being married is like peeing in your pants... At first it's nice and hot, but then it just gets sloppy and uncomfortable."

"I wish 1992 Dr. Dre would come back from the past and beat the shit out of 2012 Dr. Dre for charging 300 bucks for a pair of headphones."

"I'm getting a restraining order against my debt collectors. As much as they call me it's really just starting to come across as desperate"

"Heard a friend bragging about his one night stand Whatever mate, i've got two night stands. One either side of my bed."

"Being half German and half Jewish has its problems... Every time I walk by an oven I want to push myself in."

"I don't want to die doing something I love. I want to die doing something I hate. That way I don't have to finish it."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic science teacher? He was teaching the Law of Conversation."

"I used to dislike the idea of having a beard ... but it slowly grew on me."

"Have you heard about the internet couple that broke up? They just didn't click together anymore."

"Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car? Because it was Elise"