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Joke of the Day

"I don't want to die doing something I love. I want to die doing something I hate. That way I don't have to finish it."

Next Joke
 
"Why can't America ever win a chess tournament? Because they're missing two towers"
"Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap."
"What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike? A Piecycle."
"I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He will just have to mow around me because I'm not moving.."
"If you're driving a Porsche in traffic I'm not letting you in because life already let you in enough."
"*watching my hamster gnaw on his tiny broadsword* you are a disgrace to your lineage and bring great shame upon this house"
"I was so close to having sex after a long dry spell Then my wife woke me up"
"You have the nicest syntax I've ever seen."
"My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it's my fault."
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