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Joke of the Day

"All I wanna do is *gun shot gun shot gun shot* and *cash register noise* get off Sound Effect Island"

"What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy? rated movies."

"I would have bought Battlefront EA If the Rancor wasn't a Dead one."

"Schrodinger's Pussy... There may or may not be a dick in the box."

"Getting frisky and my girlfriend told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the head."

"Weird how an attractive face is the criteria by which one decides whether to lick the area that someone pees from."

"Every time I read news about ISS Im like what did ISIS do this time... half way through the article... how the hell did they get to space. Oh wait damn you dyslexia!! edit: joke"

"Ey gurl, are you a TSA agent? Because I've got an unattended package I think you should investigate."

"Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum? He was just minding his Ps and Qs."

"You'd think after 12 years of filming Boyhood someone would be like hey maybe we should make this good."