12594

Joke of the Day

"What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party."

"[break room] coworker: what's for lunch? me: [eating] food, generally cw: no, I mean what are you having? me: an unwanted conversation"

"Innocent little girl !! ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."

"I'm so high, I just tried to Google ""My favorite songs""."

"Reporting on your own superheroic activity while in your secret identity as a reporter is an ethics violation, MR. KENT."

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. We are efficient and dont have humour. Edit: Wow this blew up. As a German, I didnt expect this."

"It's official... My voice is incapable of making, ""Thanks. I appreciate that"" not sound sarcastic."

"6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter."

"What's the inverse of Kansas? Arkansas"

"I just left my job. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me. What did he say? You're fired."