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Joke of the Day

"It's official... My voice is incapable of making, ""Thanks. I appreciate that"" not sound sarcastic."

"Q: Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? A: Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator)."

"Either way, I don't think we should let Shrodinger near any more cats."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender."

"A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub She says, ""Show me it's true what they say about black men."" So he stabs her and steals her purse."

"Customer: ""It says I've performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Have I done something wrong?"""

"With all the negativity world-wide lately, it's nice to see Charlie Sheen has announced something positive"

"What's the hardest part of a vegatable to eat? The wheelchair."

"I'm not doing anything cheesy for my girlfriend on valentines day... She's lactose intolerant."