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Joke of the Day

"It's official... My voice is incapable of making, ""Thanks. I appreciate that"" not sound sarcastic."

"""This little computer"" said the sales clerk ""will do half of your job for you."" Studying the machine the senior VP said ""Fine I'll take two."""

"So i just came back from a transformers convention... ...and boy, are my arms tires!"

"If a buzzing insect saw the alphabet, would... a bee see?"

"Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours"

"was about to ask this girl on a date until i saw her click firefox instead of chrome"

"*interrupts your class* Girl sorry to embarrass you, but I wrote this for you *whips out guitar, fucks up intro* wait. *tries again* wait."

"What's a young monkey's favorite time of the school day? Rhesus."

"You know you're old when...... you can pronounce the names of your black peers."

"My wife thinks I'm cheating on her with our babysitter... I think she's just bitter because she's never been able to have kids..."