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Joke of the Day

"13: I have a friend that doesn't like baseball, chocolate, or bacon. Me: Pretty sure that's not a friend, bro."

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"How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they'll just beat the room for being black!"
"What would one call a movie about meth addictions? Need for speed."
"Grammar Nazi If somebody who is really anal about proper grammar is called a Grammar Nazi, is someone who constantly makes grammatical mistakes a Grammar Jew?"
"When somebody sends me a ""k"" text, I assume they forgot the rest of ""fuc_ you"", so I make sure to correct them."
"I'm so tired of people saying Hillary sucks... She doesn't. Just ask Bill and Monica."
"I went to the library the other day.. but I couldn't get in, it was fully booked."
"I wish babies could have babies. Adorable minibabies."
"i just cant stand peadophiles they're fucking immature arseholes"
"If the pen is mightier than the sword... ... Then why do actions speak louder than words?"
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