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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump, George Zimmerman, and DJ Khaled walk into a bar. Said bar is immediately shut down; State law bans brothels and with three massive attention whores in one room they kinda have no choice."

"How do you know if a girl is hungry or horny? Give her a cucumber and see what hole she puts it in. How do know if she's hungry & horny? When she sits on the cucumber and then eats the pickle."

"Where does Muscle Milk come from? Muscle mammary"

"Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: A kangaroo stuck in a tree."

"How Many People Do the Police Have to Kill to Start a Riot? 3/5ths"

"I bought a gallon of Wite-Out the other day.... Big mistake."

"I saw Jesus trending and my heart dropped. My first thought was 'damn you 2016!' but then i realized it was just his birthday."

"Saw a personalized license plate that read ""DADSROD"". That is a phrase I could have gone my whole life without thinking about."

"What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!"

"You don't serve tuna do you? ""No sir, we don't serve fish here"" *A family of tuna in fake mustaches whistles innocently at another table*"