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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump, George Zimmerman, and DJ Khaled walk into a bar. Said bar is immediately shut down; State law bans brothels and with three massive attention whores in one room they kinda have no choice."

"My wife let me remove all her clothes last night. From the dryer."

"Why didn't the cow go on to greener pastures? She couldn't find any mooovers."

"I lost a good friend today, he asked me to pick up some non-alcoholic beer."

"How do we know that the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi? Because anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush"

"Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes? There was a sin tax error. [8.5]"

"""I'm paying a woman to fist my mouth"" is the way I choose to describe going to the dentist tomorrow."

"His ex saw me and said, ""I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder""... I said, ""Guess so, but I Be Holdin' his hand!!!"""

"""Lifehack"" is now just synonymous with ""action."" ""A great lifehack for becoming a doctor is going to medical school!"""

"The Great Wall of China is one of the 7 wonders of the world just because it's a Chinese product that's lasted more than a month."