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Joke of the Day

"Whisper dirty things in my ear... http://i.imgur.com/wlIG8.jpg"

"Where can you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"Went on blind date, woke up in bathtub with kidney gone. 6 out of 10, would date again."

"What's worse than passing out and waking up after a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced."

"I'm 99% sure I have trust issues. Though I'm not sure I trust my math. Edit: I grammar well"

"I just got a tattoo of Ben Franklin on my dick Because my girlfriend knows how to blow a hundred bucks. (for our non-American friends, Ben Franklin's face is on the US $100 bill)"

"I'm Thirsty! Hey Thirsty, I'm Friday. Wanna go out on Saturday for a Sunday? ^I'm^sorry"

"COP: Did the suspect have a birthmark? MARK: He's alive so I'm assuming he had a birth, yes."

"What does a rich fat Englishman gain? Lots of Pounds."

"Tonight I made some synonym rolls Just like Grammar used to make"