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Joke of the Day

"I'm so glad we could finally reconnect after all these years because I'd really like your help on my virtual farm."

"If there's a sock on my doorknob... It means I'm having sex with the other one."

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How do you get his little legs open?"

"My best friend's a rocking chair... ...we go way back."

"""Party City"" is the least appropriately named store."

"What do you call it when an immigrant and a pedophile get into a fight? Alien Vs. Predator"

"Me: Can I have a Batmobile? Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok, pass my Masters & get a good job? Santa: I'll leave the Batmobile in the garage."

"Comedy Club I sent a comedy club my resume. They looked at it for a second, and laughed their asses off. I thought it was a good sign. I never heard back. Now I work in Corporate America."

"Today I saw a poor, old lady fall. My first reaction was to laugh, but then I thought ""what if I was an ant, and she fell on top of me?"" then it didn't seem so funny anymore."

"Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens? The SALT talks!"