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Joke of the Day

"Apple Products My friend asked me why I don't like Apple products. Told her that the cables remind me of my ex-gf, white and kink-free."

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"My aunt found a lump below her left breast recently. It was my penis."
"Horse detective stood in the rain and looked out to sea. He thought about justice and fate. He thought about her. He thought about apples."
"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."
"Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE? Neighbour: Get out of my house! Me: You're not even guessing."
"Cats are perfect for those who want to experience the indifference and hostility of the workplace in a pet."
"Babysitting Pro Tip: Make them play Dungeons & Dragons until they love it so their parents will never have to worry about teenage pregnancy."
"Kid: Just bought a chicken, a bar, a door with no doorbell and a doctors surgery Man: Where did you buy all that junk? Kid: At the Joke shop."
"10 years ago today, Canada received its first indoor toilet."
"Not all that glitters is gold. Take, for instance, glitter."