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Joke of the Day

"Masturbating while hooked up to a heart monitor can really mess with a hospital staff They never know if you're coming or going"

"What's the difference between a tornado and a redneck divorce? Nothing. Either way they're losing the trailer."

"What do you get if you combine your mom and a giraffe? A fat giraffe"

"What do you call a woman of the night playing a trumpet? A prosti-toot"

"All right, Mr. Bank Guy. My business plan is forcing my pregnant dog to drink beer so its puppies are deformed and I can make money off them"

"He died doing what he loved: being alive"

"Men treat women like objects. Weird men treat objects like women."

"Why was the Mexican tire sad? Because it was despair"

"If your name is spelled Duhniayle, don't hate me when I mispronounce it. Hate your parents & their ridiculous spelling decisions."

"Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I'd say there's a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep."