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Joke of the Day

"Cop: where ya headed? ""the gym"" Cop: im gonna save you a lot of embarrassment and arrest you ""thank you so much, officer"""

"If I could make the ultimate scary animal, I'd make it hybrid with the head of a bear, bear claws, and the body of a bear."

"What do you call a house that changes every month? A Werehouse."

"Q: What does an attorney wear to work? A: A law suit."

"Hi, my name is Chadical--I mean--Chad, and I'm a recovering bro. [group says ""Hi, Chad"" but one voice goes ""Sup bro""]"

"DR DOG: *gives kid patient a sucker* MOM: what do u say KID: thanks mr dog DD: kid I didnt go to med school for 56 years to be called Mr Dog"

"What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Taste"

"What do you call a poor Italian community? a spaghetto."

"Why do girls have nipples? Because without them tits would be pointless."

"My son just explained how he wants to make a necklace out of my hair which is totally normal & doesn't at all concern & terrify me."