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Joke of the Day

"I used to pee my pants every time i stood in front of my 3rd grade class it cost me my teaching career."

"When I was a kid, I played football with a broken nose for an entire season... We couldn't afford a football."

"When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful."

"They're always telling me to live my dreams... But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..."

"(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof? Aerial"

"Saw some kids building sandcastles on the beach so I ran and jumped on one of them. Then I wrecked his sandcastle."

"(SPOILERS) Guess what show I did NOT want to watch after the latest Walking Dead? Bob's Burgers"

"Eight mexicans drowned in the lake over the weekend. The newspaper headline was ""Ocho Sinko"""

"WHAT'S WITH THE MIXED SIGNALS DUDE? YOU TURN THE LIGHTS OFF & MOVE IN CLOSE BUT WHEN I KISS YOU YOURE LIKE WHOA IM JUST DOING YOUR EYE EXAM?"

"A man walks into a brothel.. The attendant behind the desk says ""Beat it. We're closed""."