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Joke of the Day

"Old Texas cowboy in a pharmacy Cowboy: ""Give me three packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Cowboy: ""Nah. She ain't that ugly."

"Which famous hip hop group are very open about their ongoing battle with their bowel habits? Public Enema"

"I was involved in quite a violent mugging the other day. On the plus side I made a few bucks."

"How many optometrist does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2? 1... Or 2? 1 or 2?"

"McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know"

"A Buddhist Monk walks up to a hot dog stand... ...and says ""make me one with everything."""

"Translator: We changed the Bible verses forbidding happy marriage to say gay marriage. King James: Same thing, what could possibly go wrong?"

"'Jesus loves you' means one thing in general society. And something completely different in prison."

"So I took your mom to In N Out 'cause I know she likes it animal style"

"[nsfw] What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese."