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Joke of the Day

"Possum 911: What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing? Possum: Oh yeah"

"What do you call three Make-a-Wish Foundation kids? A genie."

"Where did little Lisa go after she got hit by a truck? Everywhere."

"I like to diffuse situations with humornnnnnnnnnAnd a machete"

"Why did Donald Trump win Florida in the Presidential Election? Floridians have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the economy."

"If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily"

"Reddit deals with annoying whiners with shadowban, but what about Iran? Taliban"

"hello id like a reservation for two. also what is yr policy on cats. i wanna bring like seven cats. ive practiced fitting them on one chair"

"How did the drunk Irish man lose 30$? He bet 10$ on the soccer game and 20$ on the replay."

"SOLDIER: Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Foxtrot Lima Yankee India Sierra Delta Oscar Whiskey November CAPTAIN: Lima Oscar Lima!"