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Joke of the Day

"Putting a bell around a cow's neck to circumvent its stealthiness is just wrong. I say let them hunt."

"Yo momma's so fat, she uses the Large Hadron Collider as a hula hoop."

"The mantra to a successful relationship find someone who likes the same thermostat setting as you do."

"I just went to the bathroom without my phone. I had to read shampoo bottles like it was 1999."

"Grandma's not dead... ... she just stored in the cloud now."

"MBA: A course that teaches you, how the world is financially screwing you over while financial screwing you over"

"Why did the dolphin commit suicide? Because its life had no porpoise!"

"What is Aloe Blacc's real name? Bye Bye White"

"Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup! Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them."

"Hooked up with a Medium at a bar last night I think phony was a fake because she didn't see me coming."