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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Joan Rivers' face and Kate Upton's tits? 5000 views"

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"I stepped on a nail the other day I was going to avoid it but I didn't see the point"
"Some people like instant gratification but I prefer mine brewed slowly from freshly ground gratification beans"
"What do you call a Mexican boxing match? Juan v Juan"
"It's no superpower but I'm pretty good at winding down my car window without moving my arm so it looks like I have power windows."
"texting and driving is dangerous because u might accidentally text the lips emoji to your boss"
"Cannibal Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his friend In the forest?"
"I like putting my feet on Ottomans. I mean they deserve it after what they did to Constantinople. Footstools shouldn't conquer empires."
"call a man vandor of water die because of thirsty"
"Stop it with the Apple Hate Jokes. You're making the doctors come back again."