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Joke of the Day

"Small town waitresses have either been there for 26 years or it's their first day."

"What is comedian and former MTV show host Tom Green's favorite brand of pen? Uni-Ball"

"A mushroom walks into a bar... and the bartender says ""We don't serve your kind here."" and the mushroom says - ""Why not? I'm a fungi."

"[first day as a midwife] ME: Keep pushing! I can see the head! NURSE: You're at the wrong end."

"How much does a circumcision doctor make? Probably just a tip"

"What's brown and sticky? Parcel tape."

"What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner? Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already."

"When a husband asks you if you think it's possible to love someone forever... ""If I find the right person"" is apparently the wrong answer."

"Lawyer: ""Let me give you my honest opinion."" Client: ""No no. I'm paying for professional advice."""

"Arnold Schwarzenegger's computer Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 8, he replied: ""I still love Vista, baby"""