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Joke of the Day
"What's brown and sticky? Parcel tape."
Next Joke
"Optimus Prime: so it's settled. I'll be a huge cool truck, Bumblebee you're a camaro. Any questions? [Dan the station wagon raises his hand]"
"Life is a joke.. and death is the punch line."
"I bought a dog so I wouldn't feel creepy picking up poop off the sidewalk"
"If someone calls me ""boo"" I automatically assume they're trying to scare me."
"Three legged dog A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: ""I'm lookin' for the man who executed my father."""
"The first thing I thought when I saw that House Republicans wanted more Congressional Bengazzara hearings... ""This seems a bit much, wasn't *that* bad as Jackie Treehorn"""
"What's the most efficient way to break up with someone? Murder. I had to post this to r/jokes to keep from implicating myself"
"Apple just released a brand new programming language, *Swift*. Job recruiters everywhere immediately started posting ads for Swift programmers with 5 years of experience."
"Had to buy rat poison last week. I'm with a really huge problem at home. Can't stand my roomate."