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Joke of the Day

"""I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"""

"I got completely sucked into a three hour documentary about a toad. It was ribbeting."

"We're celebrating Thanksgiving the old fashioned way at my place this year By inviting our neighbors over to eat and then killing them and taking their land"

"Two Scottish guys are playing with a potato launcher. One guy accidentally fires at his friend's crotch. His friend falls to the ground and screams, ""MY BANGERS ARE MASHED!"""

"Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares? He wanted to check his e-mail."

"I can prove global warming is real. The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already."

"Straight Outta Compton left out Dr. Dreas history of abuse against women Because they didn't want to turn this drama film into a comedy!"

"""They had to amputate them both at the ankles,"" said Tom, defeated."

"Yes I read reddit on the toilet I do it for shits and giggles"

"Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check."