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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a crow throws a party and no one shows up? An attempted murder."

"The Minnesota Twins have just signed Adrian Peterson to a 3 year deal. More details to come. All we know is Adrian will be a switch hitter."

"Damn girl, can you guys stop with these retarded jokes? The first 2 were funny...the last 10,000 have been dumb as shit."

"After sex, a girl once told me I had a small penis. She was cool, though. She never told any of her friends... She never told anyone. Anything. Ever. Again."

"If by loves to travel you mean secretly following you every where you go from a safe distance then yes I love to travel."

"I like my beer like I like my violence... Domestic"

"*gets up off bed* *puts pants back on* Oh...so you...you wanted ACTUAL tacos then?"

"marrying ur high school sweetheart is like eating chicken tenders n being like ok cool im only eating chicken tenders the rest of my life"

"What's the dumbest animal in the desert? The Polar Bear"

"So you know the show Say Yes To The Dress There should be a show about women deciding whether or not to get an abortion called ""Say Maybe To The Baby"""