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Joke of the Day

"I like my beer like I like my violence... Domestic"

"You can fit fifty Mexicans in a van But I can fit six million Jews in my ashtray."

"Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian. They're not laughing now."

"I think it's a bad sign that when 9 tries to play charades, everyone's first guess is ""constipation."""

"Today I found out my nephew is scared of the vacuum.. Today I also found out I have a very dark cruel evil side to me.."

"Nothing says ""I've given up"" like a fat person with a stomach tattoo."

"Up votes are a bit like my sex life. It doesn't happen."

"Imagine me riding a bike. Wrong. There's no seat."

"[SPOILERS]What was the main difference between the scripts for 'The force Awakens' and 'A new Hope' ? The title."

"I asked my mother who was her favorite child... She thought for a second and said, ""Do I have to pick one of mine?"""