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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a Fiat 500 smash into a Smart Car on I-95. Cutest. Thing. Ever."

"A close talker, a loud talker, and a cougher walked into an elevator to punish me for not hitting the close door button fast enough."

"A jaguar asked an colourful arsehole with a big nose to join him in hide and seek... Toucan play that game."

"Why isn't ebola airborne? Because niggers can't fly"

"Time to fap Ctrl+Shift+N"

"Golfer: ""I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."" Caddy: ""Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."""

"In an attempt to raise profits ... I've heard that Malaysian Air is considering offering 1/2 way tickets."

"What's big, thick, hairy, and makes babies? Your mom."

"Maybe if I do the opposite and let my kids eat off the floor, more food would end up on the table."

"[2 paintings talking] ""hey man, guess what im doing this weekend?"" please dont say it ""JUST HANGING!"" i wanna move to a different gallery"