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Joke of the Day

"The only reason I've been going out with this guy all summer is because I have no idea how to operate my gas grill."

"Where do Chinese people find work? On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)"

"I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting."

"There needs to be a ""Sorry I clogged your toilet"" Hallmark card."

"Intensive care toddler One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey. ICU baby, shaking that ass..."

"Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?"

"If H2O is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K9P"

"[during lull in conversation] maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps"

"We found love in a hopeless place We found Steve in a frozen place We found Stark in an iron case We found Hulk in some gamma rays We found Thor punching Lokis face"

"Government - 'Um, we're having big issues with tax evasion. People are stashing away notes with large denominations.' Modi: 'Have you tried turning them off and and on again?'"