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Joke of the Day

"When a Nokia phone warns you about low battery, you have at least 1 month to find where the charger is lying in your house."

"Trump's foreign policy answers sound like a book report from a teenager who hasn't read the book. ""Oh, the grapes! They had so much wrath!"""

"""Q. Why were India kicked out of the Soccer world Cup held in England in 1966 ? A. Every time they were given a corner, they built a shop."""

"I think it would be totes adorbz if I throat punched you the next time you say 'totes adorbz'"

"""Son of a bitch, what are you doing? I just brought you that."" (most dogs during fetch)"

"A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane And the flight attendant says to him, ""I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."""

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a kid's face."

"I used to think porn stars got paid alot it turns out they've been getting shafted"

"I was having trouble sending text messages to my friend yesterday - so I text him ""test"" this AM. He quickly responded back - ""icle""........"

"[black jack] DEALER: 14 ME: hit me D: 16 M: hit me D: 23 M: hit me D: M: D: M: make it look good so my wife believes I was mugged"