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Joke of the Day

"What do you call repetitive diarrhea? Re-runs. (ba-dum, tss) It's just the same shit over and over again."

"Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? They fall through his hands."

"My best guy friend and I vowed if we're still single at 45, we def won't marry each other because who wants to marry someone no one likes?"

"Learning to love yourself is important. Just don't let your wife catch you doing it."

"I can't wait for hillary to become president and appoint bernie sanders as her vice president ""I did not have sexual relations with that man"""

"My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I'm working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything."

"Life's a piano and I'm wearing boxing gloves"

"Remember to practise safe phone sex. You don't want to risk getting hearing AIDS."

"Yo mama's like bacteria ...she procreates every 30 minutes and causes diseases. (Just came in my mind a few moments ago)"

"Today my boss will learn that I am nowhere near mature enough to be left alone with a label maker."