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Joke of the Day

"A skeleton walks in to a bar... The bartender says, ""What'll it be, mister?"" The skeleton says, ""A beer and a mop, please!"""

"I masturbated on a roller-coaster once... ...it was a real white-knuckle ride."

"I've got 70 hobbies. '69'ing and fishing."

"Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !"

"The Harambe memes need to stop It's very de-meme-ing."

"Yes acupuncture is an ""ancient technique."" Other ""ancient techniques"" included leeches and dying from plague. I'm good with drugs thanks."

"Yo momma Is so ugly, she has masturbate with a bag over her head."

"Give a girl a plane ticket... ... and she'll fly for a day. Push a girl from a plane, and she'll get to fly for the rest of her life."

"I used to love your updates. Then you pissed me off, and now your updates piss me off too."

"*bullies advance* STOP! Im a black belt in Shaq Fu! <laughter> *detectives arrive* Jesus, were these heads slam-dunked? Where r the bodies?"