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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a priest? Only one of them goes limp when a child walks into a room."

"How do you spell hypocrisy? R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N"

"I hate when people ask me what I see myself doing in 5 years...... I don't have 2020 vision"

"Islam is a religion of peace. Piece of you over here, piece of you over there..."

"""LOYO!"" -Yoda"

"Why won't cannibals eat Frank Sinatra? Because he's always coming back!"

"What do Japanese people do when they have erections? Vote!"

"Don't like tipping bathroom attendants for merely handing me a towel. Maybe if he performed a service like wiping my ass I'd consider it."

"How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver? It's hard to keep track."

"Catch 22: I bought a protein shake but am not strong enough to twist the cap off."