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Joke of the Day

"You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun."

"What can a monster do that you can't do? Count up to 25 on his fingers."

"What did the overweight ballet dancer perform ? The dance of the sugar plump fairy !"

"What's the temperature inside a tauntaun? Luke warm."

"Last year i was miserable and depressed, But this year I've turned it around, I'm depressed and miserable"

"I have better things to do with my time than my job."

"I miss my dog so much since he died, I just paid a homeless guy to come over and take a shit on my kitchen floor and then eat it."

"Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it."

"What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck? [deleted]"

"I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?"