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Joke of the Day

"By iPhone 30, you'll have a choice. Whether to buy an iPhone or an island in the Caribbean."

"""I love you."" ""I love you, two."" Because multiple personality disorder."

"I always eat duck with a few slices of cheap bread, because I know they would've enjoyed it."

"A student told the teacher when he grows up he wants power. The teacher replied well your gonna first need to learn algebra..lol"

"Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."

"Know what I hate more than a hipster? Two hipsters."

"How do ghosts navigate the ocean? They use boo-eys."

"[wife walking in the door after work] WIFE: I had just had the worst... why are our kids in the dog cage? ME: a hello would be nice."

"Jesus, take the wheel Carlos, take the stereo"

"Why does the number 288 not come up in polite conversation? Because it's two gross."