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Joke of the Day

"I took a ""Paint with Wine"" class. The instructor was really impressed with how well I handled my wine."

"Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it."

"Friend: ""Omg, your parents are so nice!"" ... You: ""It's because you`re here.."""

"(NSFW) Last night I tried to hit the ceiling with my jizz, but just like every night, I was unsuccessful. It was one of my many shortcomings"

"Donald Trump has done so much good for American education. Now instead of citing my sources on an English paper, I can just write down, ""I know it, you know it, everybody knows it."""

"Ted Cruz, according to the news, IS planning THat Either cruZ Or his aDminIstrAtion will be Compiling their documents to maKe a IntegraL poLitical announcemEnt this afteRnoon [hope you can decrypt it]"

"I set up an internet page for Chinese Nazis. So far it's got 3 Reichs on Facebook."

"What's blue, white and red? A cancerous child who fall down the stairs."

"What do whiteblood cells and Trump have in common? They hate foreigners."

"What did Hamlet say to his cat? Get thee to a nyanery!"