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Joke of the Day

"This week in Science: MRI technology and thought processing... are a hell of a lot cooler than last week"

"You know your life sucks when... Your job sucks, Your kids suck, And your wife doesn't."

"My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said ""WTF man, it's 2015. You can use whatever printer you want."""

"*With only office supplies, she diffuses the bomb with 1 second to spare* Boss: What are you doing? Me: *shoves action figures in desk.*"

"[narrating a commercial for therapy] ""For a 100 bucks an hour we'll blame your mother."""

"There have been many time in 2010, when I have annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you, bugged you... today I just wanna tell you... I plan to continue in 2011!"

"How often do chemists use HIO4? periodically"

"The girl I met last week said she wanted a guy who was ""funny and spontaneous"" I showed up at her kitchen window late at night wearing a clown suit and suddenly it's all panic and screaming..."

"[NSFW]What does a woman, fridge and washing machine all have in common? They all drip when they're fucked."

"Ive just been molested by a group of mime artists... They did unspeakable things to me."