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Joke of the Day

"Last week I gave a lecture on sexual dysfunction Nobody came."

"I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it's the ones we love that hurt us the most."

"On my birthday, my family tried to surprise me with a car But they missed."

"If you don't eat your candy corn in three separate bites starting from the big yellow end to the small white end, you're a communist."

"Statistics. Studies show that almost 213% of statistics are inaccurate."

"I like my women like I like my clothesline. Strung out and tied up."

"all the haters throwimg tomatos at me while im on stage dont seem to understand that im always lookimg for extra tomatos to make soup with"

"What did Little Red Riding Hoods boyfriend say when he was asked about their sex life? It's all good in the Hood!"

"Why is a viola solo like a bomb? By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it. A long list of viola jokes: http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html"

"Did you hear they're republishing that Simple Mathematics study guide? It's the revised edition. (Revise Addition)"