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Joke of the Day

"Wilderness survival tip #32: To deter bears from attacking your tent, simply sprinkle your neighbor's campsite with bacon powder."

"Joseph and Mary are having a romp in the hay. Mary says, ""what if I get pregnant, what will I tell them?"" Joseph replies, ""you will think of something."""

"99 problems. 99 bottles of beer on the wall. Problems solved."

"On a scale of 10 to 10, how good am I at giving you a choice?"

"How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You poke 'em on!"

"I got a $100 bill tattooed on my penis.... My girlfriend asked why I did it, and I told her 'well you're always asking for money to blow...'"

"After an altercation with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice."

"If tampons are ""sanitary napkins""... ...how unsanitary must regular napkins be?"

"There are two types of people in the world... Those who can read between the lines."

"Everyone in my house has diarrhea I guess it runs in the family"