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Joke of the Day

"Person says: ""It's hard to raise a family"" Necromancer says: ""Not if their graves are next to each other"""

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"Not looking at my phone during dinner will be the most romantic gesture I will make today."
"TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools."
"Yelp is a fun game where you try to guess between whether a restaurant is bad or a reviewer is crazy."
"What is that white thing in my pork&beans? The Queen Bean. *Blatantly stolen from Ren & Stimpy"
"What do you call the armed group in Oregon? Vanilla Isis."
"As a Fat bottomed girl, I'm not sure how we're expected to make the Rockin' world go round. That sounds *way* too much like exercise to me"
"Have you ever had sex while camping.... It's fucking in-tents"
"People who comment with 'goose bums' on YouTube videos, more power to you!"
"I'm not religious but I'm spiritual, which means I think the mothman prophecy is real and I don't feel bad about shoplifting"