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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a sperm bank and an regular bank? When you start to make deposits at the sperm bank, you loose interest"

"Priorities They say people have their best ideas in the shower. I'm mostly trying to remember to wash my face before I wash my ass."

"Have you heard the one about the ceiling? Nevermind, it's over your head"

"When life gives you lemons Chances are you are high on LSD"

"A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair."

"Facebook Friend: I woke up at 3:30am so I could sneak in a 8 mile run. Me: I skipped showering so I could sleep an extra 15 minutes."

"Where does the Easter Bunny lay his eggs?! In the grass.. So WHAT DO WE SMOKE TO CELEBRATE?! [all the children] Grass?? Yessssss."

"""I can't eat all of that!"" ... and other lies I tell"

"We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn't stay alive."

"""It's ok. This is normal for her."" - How my friends explain me to others."