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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a sperm bank and an regular bank? When you start to make deposits at the sperm bank, you loose interest"

"If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your ass."

"""Dad, are you afraid of ghosts?"" ""Only when I think of all the people who've died & how they must have us seriously outnumbered...G'night!"""

"If you're dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!"

"Wishing Charlie Sheen a full recovery from his addiction to awesome fun."

"When I fall down a public venue, ""Did anyone see me"" totally outranks ""Am I ok"" on the thought process."

"What do you call a quaterpounder with cheese in Zimbabwe? A yeast infection!"

"Today my mum told me I wasn't an only child.... Today my mum said that I was an only child. I said, I already knew that mum seeing as dad is in jail for rape."

"What did the left leg say to the right leg? Between me and you, we need a haircut. (I got this from some UK magazine years ago)"

"LPT: If you're in public and you need to fart Don't hold it in, because it'll go to your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from."