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Joke of the Day
"alcohol has an odd way of revealing who we really are. turns out, I'm batman."
Next Joke
"i have to wake up at 3 am tomorrow to go to the airport i've honestly never felt more attacked and victimized than i do now"
"My dog just got into a bottle of Tums She is now a basic bitch."
"I'm gonna go out on a limb and declare 'Drugs' the winner of the war on drugs."
"*seductively boils hot dog* *suggestively unscrews ketchup bottle* *alluringly toasts bun* *erotically describes this in between asterisks*"
"What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement? What're you asking me for? I have Asperger's."
"I like to imagine Supreme Court is just like regular court but with tomatoes and sour cream."
"How do hipsters buy their drugs? by the instagram."
"If your Uncle Jack was stuck on a roof Would you help your Uncle Jack off?"
"Why does everyone care who Tom Brady voted for? What we really wanna know is who Ja Rule voted for. WHERE IS JA?!"