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Joke of the Day

"Which antivirus program does a pirate use? [Avast](http://www.avast.com/), ye mateys!"

"Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere."

"I was buying fruits the other day... ...and somebody stole my bike but that's okay I avocado."

"I don't know why old people drive so slowly.. If you're 85 you should be driving 85, you ain't got much time left!"

"Why would someone name a dog ""pistachio""? Because they're nuts"

"What rhymes with left and means steal? theft"

"How do you circumcise a Texan? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"Padme: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who's not going to murder me. Anakin: You've chosen wisely."

"Her: You like shopping? Me: Oh god yes! Her: What's your favorite place? Me: The grocery store. There is a whole aisle of just cheese!"

"What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say? ""Argh it's driving me nuts!"""