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Joke of the Day

"My neighbours probably think I'm getting laid, but these are just the sounds I make whenever I take my socks off."

"Q: What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight? - A: Claude"

"So someone dropped a Chinese baby in a toilet? My advice is to pop it in a bag of rice overnight..."

"Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel? He needed a place to crash."

"Where do you send a Jew with ADHD? A concentration camp!"

"Did you hear about Trump's import tax assessment? It's tariff-eyeing"

"If my dick were a card... (x-post from r/hearthstone) ...It'd have overload because you can't take it all at once."

"""Pistorius"" sounds like a spell Harry Potter would have use to make someone's legs disappear. This is Frankie Boyles joke, not mine"

"What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F"

"Why are you so pissed? You asked me what turns me on and all I said was you not talking..."