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Joke of the Day

"I finally got Tinder ... and after a few matches, I was able to start a campfire"

"If lesbians aren't attracted to men, why are they attracted to women that look like men?"

"[at a funeral home] ME: One death please"

"I didn't know how to put this gently so I drew you a picture. That's you. Now, see the guy choking you? That's me."

"What's big and grey and protects you from the rain ? An umbrellaphant !"

"I knew someone that was frozen to absolute zero once. He was 0K."

"I formed a band with my therapy group. It was fun for a while, but we couldn't make it big. Our album 'Appetite for Self-Destruction' didn't do well with the critics."

"Whats in Olivia Newton's John? Gomer's Pile"

"Father: Son at your age Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m.. Son: Dad at your age he had become the Prime Minister of England."

"Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?"