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Joke of the Day
"What did the Mexican firefighter name his two kids? Jose and Hose-B"
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"Tony Abbot"
"At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat."
"Her: Stop being absurd. Just be yourself. Me: Make up your mind."
"I ate so many chickpeas... I falafel!"
"If Sanders win the nomination, won't that make him mainstream? There goes the hipster vote."
"When a man wants to get a tan he goes under the Sun. When a cos wants to get a tan... ...He goes under the sin."
"I like the phrase bury the hatchet because it implies someone was trying to resolve an argument with a fucking hatchet"
"10 Money Saving Tips (Joke) http://travelmediacafe.com/2014/11/18/10-money-saving-tips/"
"At the Apple store waiting for a snotty Genius Bar guy. Thinking about how a ""crowbar"" has nothing to do with crows either."