126704

Joke of the Day

"Liverpool sounds like the most disgusting place in the world to hold a swim meet."

"Clyde: I'm looking 4 a partner. What's ur name? ""Bonnie"" C: That ur real name? ""Nope. Jekyll Elizabeth Parker"" C: ...Bonnie it is"

"My dog: wasn't me Me: I know My dog: honest It wasn't me Me: it's ok really My dog: [chip packet still on her head] I think the kid ate them"

"What do you call glasses that make you look wise? Respectacles"

"I said to my Doctor, ""I've become a can of deodorant."" He said, ""Are you sure?"" I replied, ""No, I'm Lynx."""

"Q: What did the cook say to the dough? A: I ""NEED"" you!"

"So I knew this lady, and even though she was a Prostitute..... She had the Prettiest face I ever came across."

"A black man enters a bar... with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said; - That's cool! Where did you get that? - In Africa, replied the parrot."

"What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi."

"If the only tool you have is a dildo, everything looks like its ready to nail."