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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) My girlfriend dumped me because I couldn't give her the 12 inches she deserved.. I told that bitch ""I don't cut 2 inches off for anybody!"""

"Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone. "

"EMOTICON GUIDE :) I'm happy ;) Having a seizure. Still happy :/ Having a stroke. Not happy :( I'm a grouper .) Lost an eye. Still happy"

"If I had a nickel for every GEICO commercial I've ever seen, I could buy us all car insurance."

"What is the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One can shoot but can't hit and the other one can hoot but can't shit."

"Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge? Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, because he could never come."

"Happy Birthday Girlfrien. I didn't put the D because you'll get that later."

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the crap out of their dogs!"

"What did the door say to the other door? I can see your Knob Simple yet effective"