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Joke of the Day

"Goodbye things in my apartment. Have fun coming to life and talking to each other. I'll be back around 6 pm."

"What's the difference between congress and a circus? One is a Cunning array of Stunts..."

"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between ""shit"" and ""syphilis"""

"What happens when The Past, Present, and Future walk in to a bar? It becomes very tense."

"Why do girls... Hang out in odd numbers? Because they can't even!"

"Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with 5 guys? She came home with a big, red snapper."

"If you see your ex, wrap your hands behind your neck and pretend you're making out with someone. That'll show him you're still crazy AF."

"I used to be a hypochondriac... But I got sick of it."

"Dear kids, There is NO Santa Claus. Those presents are from your parents. ""With love, WikiLeaks"""

"When and where do chemists have sex? Periodically, on the table."